CHAPTER 38

TheywereinthecaveandthemenwerestandingbeforethefireMariawasfanning.Pilarhadcoffeereadyinapot.ShehadnotgonebacktobedatallsinceshehadrousedRobertJordanandnowshewassittingonastoolinthesmokycavesewingtheripinoneofJordan』spacks.Theotherpackwasalreadysewed.Thefirelightlitupherface.

「Takemoreofthestew,」shesaidtoFernando.「Whatdoesitmatterifthybellyshouldbefull?Thereisnodoctortooperateifyoutakeagoring.」

「Don』tspeakthatway,woman,」Agustínsaid.「Thouhastthetongueofthegreatwhore.」

Hewasleaningontheautomaticrifle,itslegsfoldedcloseagainstthefrettedbarrel,hispocketswerefullofgrenades,asackofpanshungfromoneshoulder,andafullbandolierofammunitionhungovertheothershoulder.Hewassmokingacigaretteandheheldabowlofcoffeeinonehandandblewsmokeontoitssurfaceasheraisedittohislips.

「Thouartawalkinghardwarestore,」Pilarsaidtohim.「Thoucanstnotwalkahundredyardswithallthat.」

「Quéva,woman,」Agustínsaid.「Itisalldownhill.」

「Thereisaclimbtothepost,」Fernandosaid.「Beforethedownwardslopecommences.」

「Iwillclimbitlikeagoat,」Agustínsaid.

「Andthybrother?」heaskedEladio.「Thyfamousbrotherhasmuckedoff?」

Eladiowasstandingagainstthewall.

「Shutup,」hesaid.

Hewasnervousandheknewtheyallknewit.Hewasalwaysnervousandirritablebeforeaction.Hemovedfromthewalltothetableandbeganfillinghispocketswithgrenadesfromoneoftherawhide-coveredpanniersthatleaned,open,againstthetableleg.

RobertJordansquattedbythepannierbesidehim.Hereachedintothepannierandpickedoutfourgrenades.ThreeweretheovalMillbombtype,serrated,heavyironwithaspringlevelhelddowninpositionbyacotterpinwithpullingrigattached.

「Wheredidthesecomefrom?」heaskedEladio.

「Those?ThosearefromtheRepublic.Theoldmanbroughtthem.」

「Howarethey?」

「Valenmásquepesan,」Eladiosaid.「Theyareworthafortuneapiece.」

「Ibroughtthose,」Anselmosaid.「Sixtyinonepack.Ninetypounds,Inglé.」

「Haveyouusedthose?」RobertJordanaskedPilar.

「「Quéva,haveweusedthem?」thewomansaid.「ItwaswiththosePabloslewthepostatOtero.」

WhenshementionedPablo,Agustínstartedcursing.RobertJordansawthelookonPilar』sfaceinthefirelight.

「Leaveit,」shesaidtoAgustínsharply.「Itdoesnogoodtotalk.」

「Havetheyalwaysexploded?」RobertJordanheldthegraypaintedgrenadeinhishand,tryingthebendofthecotterpinwithhisthumbnail.

「Always,」Eladiosaid.「Therewasnotadudinanyofthatlotweused.」

「Andhowquickly?」

「Inthedistanceonecanthrowit.Quickly.Quicklyenough.」

「Andthese?」

Heheldupasoup-tin-shapedbomb,withatapewrappingaroundawireloop.

「Theyareagarbage,」Eladiotoldhim.「Theyblow.Yes.Butitisallflashandnofragments.」

「Butdotheyalwaysblow?」

「Quéva,always,」Pilarsaid.「Thereisnoalwayseitherwithourmunitionsortheirs.」

「Butyousaidtheotheralwaysblew.」

「Notme,」Pilartoldhim.「Youaskedanother,notme.Ihaveseennoalwaysinanyofthatstuff.」

「Theyallblew,」Eladioinsisted.「Speakthetruth,woman.」

「Howdoyouknowtheyallblew?」Pilaraskedhim.「ItwasPablowhothrewthem.YoukillednooneatOtero.」

「Thatsonofthegreatwhore,」Agustínbegan.

「Leaveitalone,」Pilarsaidsharply.Thenshewenton.「Theyareallmuchthesame,Inglé.Butthecorrugatedonesaremoresimple.」

I』dbetteruseoneofeachoneachset,RobertJordanthought.Buttheserratedtypewilllasheasierandmoresecurely.

「Areyougoingtobethrowingbombs,Inglés?」Agustínasked.

「Whynot?」RobertJordansaid.

Butcrouchedthere,sortingoutthegrenades,whathewasthinkingwas:itisimpossible.HowIcouldhavedeceivedmyselfaboutitIdonotknow.WewereassunkwhentheyattackedSordoasSordowassunkwhenthesnowstopped.Itisthatyoucan』tacceptit.Youhavetogoonandmakeaplanthatyouknowisimpossibletocarryout.Youmadeitandnowyouknowitisnogood.It』snogood,now,inthemorning.YoucantakeeitherofthepostsabsolutelyO.K.withwhatyou』vegothere.Butyoucan』ttakethemboth.Youcan』tbesureofit,Imean.Don』tdeceiveyourself.Notwhenthedaylightcomes.

Tryingtotakethembothwillneverwork.Pabloknewthatallthetime.IsupposehealwaysintendedtomuckoffbutheknewwewerecookedwhenSordowasattacked.Youcan』tbaseanoperationonthepresumptionthatmiraclesaregoingtohappen.Youwillkillthemalloffandnotevengetyourbridgeblownifyouhavenothingbetterthanwhatyouhavenow.YouwillkilloffPilar,Anselmo,Agustín,Primitivo,thisjumpyEladio,theworthlessgypsyandoldFernando,andyouwon』tgetyourbridgeblown.DoyousupposetherewillbeamiracleandGolzwillgetthemessagefromAndréandstopit?Ifthereisn』t,youaregoingtokillthemalloffwiththoseorders.Mariatoo.You』llkillhertoowiththoseorders.Can』tyouevengetheroutofit?GoddamnPablotohell,hethought.

No.Don』tgetangry.Gettingangryisasbadasgettingscared.Butinsteadofsleepingwithyourgirlyoushouldhaveriddenallnightthroughthesehillswiththewomantotrytodigupenoughpeopletomakeitwork.Yes,hethought.AndifanythinghappenedtomesoIwasnotheretoblowit.Yes.That.That』swhyyouweren』tout.Andyoucouldn』tsendanybodyoutbecauseyoucouldn』trunachanceoflosingthemandbeingshortonemore.Youhadtokeepwhatyouhadandmakeaplantodoitwiththem.

Butyourplanstinks.Itstinks,Itellyou.Itwasanightplanandit』smorningnow.Nightplansaren』tanygoodinthemorning.Thewayyouthinkatnightisnogoodinthemorning.Sonowyouknowitisnogood.

WhatifJohnMosbydidgetawaywiththingsasimpossibleasthis?Surehedid.Muchmoredifficult.Andremember,donotundervaluatetheelementofsurprise.Rememberthat.Rememberitisn』tgoofyifyoucanmakeitstick.Butthatisnotthewayyouaresupposedtomakeit.Youshouldmakeitnotonlypossiblebutsure.Butlookathowitallhasgone.Well,itwaswronginthefirstplaceandsuchthingsaccentuatedisasterasasnowballrollsupwetsnow.

HelookedupfromwherehewassquattedbythetableandsawMariaandshesmiledathim.Hegrinnedbackwiththefrontofhisfaceandselectedfourmoregrenadesandputtheminhispockets.Icouldunscrewthedetonatorsandjustusethem,hethought.ButIdon』tthinkthefragmentationwillhaveanybadeffect.Itwillcomeinstantaneouslywiththeexplosionofthechargeanditwon』tdisperseit.Atleast,Idon』tthinkitwill.I』msureitwon』t.Havealittleconfidence,hetoldhimself.Andyou,lastnight,thinkingabouthowyouandyourgrandfatherweresoterrificandyourfatherwasacoward.Showyourselfalittleconfidencenow.

HegrinnedatMariaagainbutthegrinwasstillnodeeperthantheskinthatfelttightoverhischeekbonesandhismouth.

Shethinksyou』rewonderful,hethought.Ithinkyoustink.Andthegloriaandallthatnonsensethatyouhad.Youhadwonderfulideas,didn』tyou?Youhadthisworldalltaped,didn』tyou?Thehellwithallofthat.

Takeiteasy,hetoldhimself.Don』tgetintoarage.That』sjustawayouttoo.Therearealwayswaysout.You』vegottobiteonthenailnow.Thereisn』tanyneedtodenyeverythingthere』sbeenjustbecauseyouaregoingtoloseit.Don』tbelikesomedamnedsnakewithabrokenbackbitingatitself;andyourbackisn』tbrokeneither,youhound.Waituntilyou』rehurtbeforeyoustarttocry.Waituntilthefightbeforeyougetangry.There』slotsoftimeforitinafight.Itwillbesomeusetoyouinafight.

Pilarcameovertohimwiththebag.

「Itisstrongnow,」shesaid.「Thosegrenadesareverygood,Inglé.Youcanhaveconfidenceinthem.」

「Howdoyoufeel,woman?」

Shelookedathimandshookherheadandsmiled.Hewonderedhowfarintoherfacethesmilewent.Itlookeddeepenough.

「Good,」shesaid.「Dentrodelagravedad.」

Thenshesaid,squattingbyhim,「Howdoesitseemtotheenowthatitisreallystarting?」

「Thatwearefew,」RobertJordansaidtoherquickly.

「Tome,too,」shesaid.「Veryfew.」

Thenshesaidstilltohimalone,「TheMariacanholdthehorsesbyherself.Iamnotneededforthat.Wewillhobblethem.Theyarecavalryhorsesandthefiringwillnotpanicthem.IwillgotothelowerpostanddothatwhichwasthedutyofPablo.Inthiswayweareonemore.」

「Good,」hesaid.「Ithoughtyoumightwishto.」

「Nay,Inglés,」Pilarsaid，lookingathimclosely.「Donotbeworried.Allwillbewell.Remembertheyexpectnosuchthingtocometothem.」

「Yes,」RobertJordansaid.

「Oneotherthing,Inglés,」Pilarsaidassoftlyasherharshwhispercouldbesoft.「Inthatthingofthehand——」

「Whatthingofthehand?」hesaidangrily.

「Nay,listen.Donotbeangry,littleboy.Inregardtothatthingofthehand.ThatisallgypsynonsensethatImaketogivemyselfanimportance.Thereisnosuchthing.」

「Leaveitalone,」hesaidcoldly.

「Nay,」shesaidharshlyandlovingly.「ItisjustalyingnonsensethatImake.Iwouldnothavetheeworryinthedayofbattle.」

「Iamnotworried,」RobertJordansaid.

「Yes,Inglés,」shesaid.「Thouartveryworried,forgoodcause.Butallwillbewell,Inglé.Itisforthisthatweareborn.」

「Idon』tneedapoliticalcommissar,」RobertJordantoldher.

Shesmiledathimagain,smilingfairlyandtrulywiththeharshlipsandthewidemouth,andsaid,「Icarefortheeverymuch,Inglé.」

「Idon』twantthatnow,」hesaid.「Nitu,niDios.」

「Yes,」Pilarsaidinthathuskywhisper.「Iknow.Ionlywishedtotellthee.Anddonotworry.Wewilldoallverywell.」

「Whynot?」RobertJordansaidandtheverythinnestedgeoftheskininfrontofhisfacesmiled.「Ofcoursewewill.Allwillbewell.」

「Whendowego?」Pilarasked.

RobertJordanlookedathiswatch.

「Anytime,」hesaid.

HehandedoneofthepackstoAnselmo.

「Howareyoudoing,oldone?」heasked.

TheoldmanwasfinishingwhittlingthelastofapileofwedgeshehadcopiedfromamodelRobertJordanhadgivenhim.Thesewereextrawedgesincasetheyshouldbeneeded.

「Well,」theoldmansaidandnodded.「Sofar,verywell.」Heheldhishandout.「Look,」hesaidandsmiled.Hishandswereperfectlysteady.

「Bueno,yqué?」RobertJordansaidtohim.「Icanalwayskeepthewholehandsteady.Pointwithonefinger.」

Anselmopointed.Thefingerwastrembling.HelookedatRobertJordanandshookhishead.

「Minetoo,」RobertJordanshowedhim.「Always.Thatisnormal.」

「Notforme,」Fernandosaid.Heputhisrightforefingerouttoshowthem.Thentheleftforefinger.

「Canstthouspit?」AgustínaskedhimandwinkedatRobertJordan.

Fernandohawkedandspatproudlyontothefloorofthecave,thenrubbeditinthedirtwithhisfoot.

「Youfilthymule,」Pilarsaidtohim.「Spitinthefireifthoumustvauntthycourage.」

「Iwouldnothavespatonthefloor,Pilar,ifwewerenotleavingthisplace,」Fernandosaidprimly.

「Becarefulwhereyouspittoday,」Pilartoldhim.「Itmaybesomeplaceyouwillnotbeleaving.」

「Thatonespeakslikeablackcat,」Agustínsaid.Hehadthenervousnecessitytojokethatisanotherformofwhattheyallfelt.

「Ijoke,」saidPilar.

「Metoo,」saidAgustín.「Butmecagoenlaleche,butIwillbecontentwhenitstarts.」

「Whereisthegypsy?」RobertJordanaskedEladio.

「Withthehorses,」Eladiosaid.「Youcanseehimfromthecavemouth.」

「Howishe?」

Eladiogrinned.「Withmuchfear,」hesaid.Itreassuredhimtospeakofthefearofanother.

「Listen,Inglé——」Pilarbegan.RobertJordanlookedtowardherandashedidhesawhermouthopenandtheunbelievinglookcomeonherfaceandheswungtowardthecavemouthreachingforhispistol.There,holdingtheblanketasidewithonehand,theshortautomaticriflemuzzlewithitsflash-conejuttingabovehisshoulder,wasPablostandingshort,wide,bristly-faced,hissmallred-rimmedeyeslookingtowardnooneinparticular.

「Thou——」Pilarsaidtohimunbelieving.「Thou.」

「Me,」saidPabloevenly.Hecameintothecave.

「Hola,Inglé,」hesaid.「IhavefivefromthebandsofEliasandAlejandroabovewiththeirhorses.」

「Andtheexploderandthedetonators?」RobertJordansaid.「Andtheothermaterial?」

「Ithrewthemdownthegorgeintotheriver,」Pablosaidstilllookingatnoone.「ButIhavethoughtofawaytodetonateusingagrenade.」

「SohaveI,」RobertJordansaid.

「Haveyouadrinkofanything?」Pabloaskedwearily.

RobertJordanhandedhimtheflaskandheswallowedfast,thenwipedhismouthonthebackofhishand.

「Whatpasseswithyou?」Pilarasked.

「Nada,」Pablosaid,wipinghismouthagain.「Nothing.Ihavecomeback.」

「Butwhat?」

「Nothing.Ihadamomentofweakness.IwentawaybutIamcomeback.」

HeturnedtoRobertJordan.「Enelfondonosoycobarde,」hesaid.「AtbottomIamnotacoward.」

Butyouareverymanyotherthings,RobertJordanthought.Damnedifyou』renot.ButI』mgladtoseeyou,yousonofabitch.

「FivewasallIcouldgetfromEliasandAlejandro,」Pablosaid.「IhaveriddensinceIlefthere.Nineofyoucouldneverhavedoneit.Never.IknewthatlastnightwhentheIngléexplainedit.Never.Therearesevenmenandacorporalatthelowerpost.Supposethereisanalarmorthattheyfight?」

HelookedatRobertJordannow.「WhenIleftIthoughtyouwouldknowthatitwasimpossibleandwouldgiveitup.ThenafterIhadthrownawaythymaterialIsawitinanothermanner.」

「Iamgladtoseethee,」RobertJordansaid.Hewalkedovertohim.「Weareallrightwiththegrenades.Thatwillwork.Theotherdoesnotmatternow.」

「Nay,」Pablosaid.「Idonothingforthee.Thouartathingofbadomen.Allofthiscomesfromthee.Sordoalso.ButafterIhadthrownawaythymaterialIfoundmyselftoolonely.」

「Thymother—」Pilarsaid.

「SoIrodefortheotherstomakeitpossibleforittobesuccessful.IhavebroughtthebestthatIcouldget.IhaveleftthematthetopsoIcouldspeaktoyou,first.TheythinkIamtheleader.」

「Thouart,」Pilarsaid.「Iftheewishes.」Pablolookedatherandsaidnothing.Thenhesaidsimplyandquietly,「IhavethoughtmuchsincethethingofSordo.Ibelieveifwemustfinishwemustfinishtogether.Butthou,Inglé.Ihatetheeforbringingthistous.」

「ButPablo——」Fernando,hispocketsfullofgrenades,abandolierofcartridgesoverhisshoulder,hestillwipinginhispanofstewwithapieceofbread,began.「Doyounotbelievetheoperationcanbesuccessful?Nightbeforelastyousaidyouwereconvinceditwouldbe.」

「Givehimsomemorestew,」PilarsaidviciouslytoMaria.ThentoPablo,hereyessoftening,「Soyouhavecomeback,eh?」

「Yes,woman,」Pablosaid.

「Well,thouartwelcome,」Pilarsaidtohim.「Ididnotthinkthoucouldstbetheruinthouappearedtobe.」

「Havingdonesuchathingthereisalonelinessthatcannotbeborne,」Pablosaidtoherquietly.

「Thatcannotbeborne,」shemockedhim.「Thatcannotbebornebytheeforfifteenminutes.」

「Donotmockme,woman.Ihavecomeback.」

「Andthouartwelcome,」shesaid.「Didstnothearmethefirsttime?Drinkthycoffeeandletusgo.Somuchtheatretiresme.」

「Isthatcoffee?」Pabloasked.

「Certainly,」Fernandosaid.

「Givemesome,Maria,」Pablosaid.「Howartthou?」Hedidnotlookather.

「Well,」Mariatoldhimandbroughthimabowlofcoffee.「Doyouwantstew?」Pabloshookhishead.

「Nomegustaestarsolo,」PablowentonexplainingtoPilarasthoughtheotherswerenotthere.「Idonotliketobealone.Sabes?YesterdayalldayaloneworkingforthegoodofallIwasnotlonely.Butlastnight.Hombre!Quémallopasé?」

「ThypredecessorthefamousJudasIscariothangedhimself,」Pilarsaid.

「Don』ttalktomethatway,woman,」Pablosaid.「Haveyounotseen?Iamback.Don』ttalkofJudasnornothingofthat.Iamback.」

「Howarethesepeopletheebrought?」Pilaraskedhim.「Hastbroughtanythingworthbringing?」

「Sonbuenos,」Pablosaid.HetookachanceandlookedatPilarsquarely,thenlookedaway.

「Buenosybobos.Goodonesandstupids.Readytodieandall.Atugusto.Accordingtothytaste.Thewayyoulikethem.」

PablolookedPilarintheeyesagainandthistimehedidnotlookaway.Hekeptonlookingathersquarelywithhissmall,redrimmedpigeyes.

「Thou,」shesaidandherhuskyvoicewasfondagain.「Thou.Isupposeifamanhassomethingonce,alwayssomethingofitremains.」

「Listo,」Pablosaid,lookingathersquarelyandflatlynow.「Iamreadyforwhatthedaybrings.」

「Ibelievethouartback,」Pilarsaidtohim.「Ibelieveit.But,hombre,thouwertalongwaygone.」

「Lendmeanotherswallowfromthybottle,」PablosaidtoRobertJordan.「Andthenletusbegoing.」